Wait....someone is missing!!

So the last week or so my dear friend Jessica that passed away on August 21, 2007 has really been on my mind. Her and I were very close and stayed close after high school, we even moved in together!! We had so many memories together, I guess that is what is making this hard. I feel like someone is missing during this whole planning of the wedding and talking about starting my family. Jessi was always the best at making everyone around her feel like they were just a great person and had something special about them. She always used to tell me that I was already a mother-I just didn't have a baby yet.

So as I'm missing her I start to think about everyone else that "should" be here for David and I's special day- My grandfathers, David's mother and Grandparents and his Aunt.....just makes me want to cry. What I wouldn't give to be able to share our special day with these loved ones that will not be there in person. I know they will be looking down on us with big huge smiles and enjoying it from the best seats in the world!

But call me a little selfish, I want to share it with them, and be able to touch them, and laugh with them, and everything else that you get to do with the people you care about on your big day! Just feel like they should be here, and share in this wonderful occasion with us.

But as a tribute to David's mother I have gotten a Silver bouquet pin with the awareness ribbon on it (for those of you who don't know David lost his mother at the age of 7 to breast cancer) as well as a picture of her on her wedding day- that way in a way she will be there with us.

Ok enough of the crying for now- we are only 72 days till the wedding!!!!!

Such a cry baby these days!!!!

So we are just 81 days till the wedding and 78 days till we are laving for Mexico. We are gradually getting more and more done as these days just fly by! This past weekend we got our wedding bands, now just have to wait for them to come in.

So the past week or more I have been the biggest cry baby about every little thing- not sure if it is hormones, or the stress or what it is but I have been crying at the drop of a hat it seams these days!!! My head is filled with worry and wonder, will I be a good wife? Will I be a good mother? Can I be both a good wife and mother at the same time? What about my other family, will I be able to still be there for them when I'm needed? Am I hurting anyone's feelings in any of this....oh the list goes on and on....I worry about these things day in and day out- if I get agitated with someones child my head starts to wonder and worry if that means I will not be a patient/good mother.

I know these probably seem silly to some- but for me they are very real thoughts. I just can't wait for June to be here so I can be married to the best man I have ever met, and we can start our family!!!

well that is all my crazy rant for now!!! :)

3 Months to go!!

It feels like David and I were just engaged and starting to plan the wedding, now we are only less than 3 months away!!!

I'm overcome with such anxiety about everything, I only get to do this once and I want it to be the day I have imagined since I was a little girl!! We got the wedding shower invites out the other day, all 56 of them!!! Never realize just how big of a family you have until you start sending invitations out!! LOL Next we will send out the wedding invites.

This past Saturday we did some finalizing on things such as: got our menu all set in stone- picked a bakery and picked how we wanted our cakes to look, met with the wedding coordinator to go over the linens and table set up and how the evening should run- meeting with her really helped me to relax a little bit. She told me that she would make sure it is MY day and that everything will run as to plan!!

Now we just have to Finnish up paying for everything- get all the stuff for the centerpieces, and meet with the florist, and get our song list to the DJ.....I'm sure I have left some pieces out....but that is all my brain can think of at the moment!!

I would like to take a moment and ask you to please say a prayer for my Mother- she is going thru some stuff: and I just ask that you pray for her to have the best outcome and it be painless as possible! Thank you!!

Well it seems these days all I do is work and sleep and find time to workout and eat in the little time I have left during the day- but it is keeping my days full and my mind off other things!! But it doesn't leave me much time to blog, I hope after the wedding that I will have more time to be on here and keep you up to date with the IVF progress!

Until next time!!

Oh here is are some pictures of the crew while we were dress shopping....my lil nephew Brady was not that impressed...but did say I looked cute! LOL Enjoy!!