Best 8 weeks!

We started our 3rd IUI treatments on January 24th. It started with me being a lil out of sorts since they were going to be starting my medications a day later in my cycle than my other 2 IUI treatments. After a small freak out and a lot of praying it came to me, for this to be able to work this time, things had to be different.

Thru the whole 2 weeks of medications I kept my faith strong and was not afraid to reach out to my family and friends when I needed some extra prayers. We did the insemination on February 6th- then had a LONG 2 week wait that we had to go thru to find out if it had worked. As I went on the trip to CA to see David I still wasn't feeling any symptoms of being pregnant. I had some heartburn, and that was very uncommon for me to have, but I did not thing much about it. As I was going into the Dr's office for my blood test I prayed before I got out of my car (as I had done before every other appointment) and told God this was his, and I was just along for the ride. I was pretty sure that I was not pregnant and expected that to be the words that I was told when my phone rang at around 5:30 that afternoon. To my surprise my Dr was on the other end of the phone, she was so excited to tell me that we were VERY pregnant!! My counts were very high and I was scheduled to come back in 2 days later for another test, those results came back great and my counts were dubbing as they were supposed to (actually were higher than normal). I cam back in a week later and again my counts were higher than expected!! All was going well!!! We were scheduled on March 9th to come in for our fist sono!!! We were so excited to see our lil blueberry!!! We arrived to our appointment and what seemed like the longest wait of my life the Dr came in and started the sonogram!! There on the screen was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen in my life!!! Our lil baby and their heart just beating away!!!! I was on cloud 9!! We decided that since we had gotten a good heartbeat we would let the world in on our great news!!! We were scheduled to come back in 2 weeks for another sonogram.

March 21st we came back into the Dr for our sono, that is when our world turned upside down. Looking up at the screen I could tell our baby had gotten quite a bit bigger and our Dr said that it was measuring right on schedule of 8 weeks. As I was staring at the screen I was searching for the flicker of the heart.....sadly our sweet baby's heart had stopped beating the few days prior. We came back into the Dr's office 2 days later, and it was confirmed. Our baby had passed on.

I know our baby is playing at the Lords feet, and I'm happy to be able to give David's mom a grandchild to look after until we are called home and I get to hold our sweet child. It is truly heartbreaking, that words can not express. But, I know that this is all in the plan that our Lord and savior has for us, I know that I can not get down and dwell on this, because I know it will not change the facts. It will not bring my baby back to us. So I praise the Lord for the 8 weeks I got to carry our baby. What a gift he gave us, telling us not to give up hope!

I was scheduled with Dr. Kaufmann for a D&C for March 28th, but I felt that it was too far away. I called my normal OB Dr. Howell and he was able to get me in Monday. They did the procedure, and they are running all kinds of test on my blood, the fetus, and all the tissue to see if we can get some answers as to why this keeps happening.

I feel in my heart that the Lord was in total control over this, and he sent us this baby knowing that it would pass, knowing that they would run test on it, so we are able to get some answers. The 8 weeks that I was pregnant were the best 8 weeks I could hope for. I know that the Lord will bless us again with another baby, and this time we will have all the knowledge that we need to make this a successful pregnancy, and we will be able to have a child here on earth with us to love, cherish, and teach about our amazing Lord and His unfailing love for each and every one of us. When we started this treatment, I learned that things had to be different for this time to work....and things still have to be different for things to work. As this is all in God's hands and will happen in his time, not ours.

I ask you to pray that we get some answers from all the test and we can start to try again soon.

Until next time.